Lure Eyes
my poem deaths lure (i know its long i have to edit it)?
pale agaisnt the night sky
she wishpers to me and i look into her eyes
shivers run down my spine "who are you" i ask
the word death comes from her blood stained lips
i try to run but im frozen to the spot
your going nowhere iv made sure of that
she lays me down and caress me with her nails
leaving bloody marks all over my body
i try to scream but no words come out
im frightened for my life
the life that is no longer mine
come to me child she says into my ear
its your time to go the end is so near
i try to fight deats enticing lure
but its so strong and im so weak
i close my eyes and let death take me
continue using 4 line stanzas all the way through the poem.
add "come to me child she says in my ear " to the stanza above.
start the next stanza with" It's your time to go , the end is near.
except for a few spelling mistakes... against, whispers,
blood-stained , I've , I'm , carresses, it's (deats???)deaths , it's, I'm
and punctuation,
a period after eyes.....
a question mark after ask?
a period after lips
comma after run
period after spot
comma after nowhere
exclamation mark after that
period after body
comma after out
period after life
period after mine
period after ear
comma after go
period after near
period after weak
period after me
Very well done, I really liked it, I felt her clawing, your word choice was clear and distinct.... you cause me to see it viusually.. good on you......
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